Vaga-Blog - Volume I - Rome to Florence (May 30, a.m.)

DON'T TEACH YOUR KIDS TO DRIVE LIKE THIS

Here’s where the adventure begins, kids. No, I don’t speak Italian. No, I’ve never driven in Europe. Yes, I picked up a rental car and drove three hours to Florence from Rome after 10 hours of flying. My contacts are stuck to my eyeballs like stale potato chips and I haven’t peed since Iceland. Why was my mother worried?

Okay, have you ever driven in Italy? Those nutjobs might be sexy in movies, but they drive so fast they make me physically uncomfortable. And I’m a city girl – I’ve been driving like an ass**** for 10 years. But this is insane. If you are going any less than 20km ABOVE the speed limit, they get on your tail faster than a whore at a frat party to flash their lights and demand that you move over immediately. The nice thing is, after they do it, there’s no expressive hand gestures or x-rated lip syncing like if you had cut off an NYC cabbie. They just speed by you and are gone before you can say Chianti. But the pressure to drive 140km/hour is blinding. (Not unlike the lights in the rear view mirror.)

KM traveled: 330 (you do the math, I forgot my calculator)
Cars that passed me: 35,762
Times I cared: 1.0
Tolls paid: 13€ ($20 US – for that mental anguish, they should pay me.)
Days until my personal travel ends and my Vagabond summer begins, thus upgrading my hotel status: 2

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