Vaga-Blog - Volume II - Back at Oppede (June 17)

MY LAWYER'S NOT AFRAID OF YOUR LAWYER

Today is the day of my parents’ arrival. I’m so excited to see them I can barely sleep. Thank God we’re not staying at Chez McCreepy, or I’d be too embarrassed to take them home. And afraid to close one eye. I picked them up at the train station in Avignon. They’re in great spirits, despite the fact that they’ve been traveling for 24 hours and nearly missed their connections in both Newark and Paris.

Laura offered to make dinner, so my parents freshened up while we got the meal started. Six bottles of wine later, Laura and Steve head to their hotel and we settled in for the night.

I checked my email and learned that Creepy McYuckenstein is threatening to sue us for the remainder of the money he thinks we owe him. I subtly wish him luck in getting his 500€ through American courts. Then I emailed the photos I’d taken to the website where I found Mas de Chain Saw Massacre.

I’d told my mom about the gypsies, which freaked her out a little more than I intended. At 4 a.m., I’m awoken by the deafening shattering of what sounds like a glass schoolbus. In my haze I assume that gypsies have broken in. Good news bad news, it wasn’t gypsies – but my mom had gotten up to open a window and crashed into, thus shattering, a two-food wide glass vase. My dad barely stirs, rolling over just long enough to advise “you better clean that up” before my mom and I spend two hours sweeping up glass shards.